1/6/2026: Heyo! I made a super long post on Tumblr about one of my Rimworld games and I decided I wanted it on here too! The rest of this entry is copy-pasted from Tumblr.

Wait, actually, did I ever tell the story of why I'm attached to the name Vasilisa??

Listen. Listen. Pav and Karin's daughter is not the first to have that name with me. There's another character, a video game character (I named both Silly and Vidcund after video game characters) that I absolutely loved with all my heart who had that name.

You will never meet her, because she was a Rimworld character.

Story time

So this was back before Rimworld released the DLC that let you finally have kids in Rimworld (and other things, but the kids are all I care about wwwww). I had a mod that allowed pawns to get pregnant and have kids. Unlike the DLC, though, they aged normally, not any faster than the older pawns. It took THREE YEARS for an infant to grow to a toddler.

And if you know Rimworld, you probably know that most of the babies I had...usually died.

But not Vasilisa!

So I have a "The 100" scenario (based off the show and book) that lets you have 10 teenage pawns at the start. I played with that and two of the pawns, despite being 17 and 19, were already married. I wish I could remember their names, but they were both white (this is important, trust me).

The wife? Was a FUCKING BADASS. She was a military QUEEN. She feared nothing. Whatever came at her, she would shoot, punch, kick, and take it down. She was the designated protector of the colony.

The husband, however, was more on the intellectual side. He was the researcher and far more meek. You knew not to mess with him, though, because his wife would eat you up.

So, of course, wife gets pregnant and that slows her not at all. She still went out and attacked, in melee, during the third trimester even. I half remember her even going on a trip to save another pawn who crash landed off map.

And, of course, (this is also important) there was an attacker that the wife took down and took prisoner. She was the first person older than 21 in the colony, a Black woman who was in her 40s. Yes, I know for a fact that she was Black and not just brown. Why? You'll see.

She's a prisoner for a bit, but eventually they convince her to join the colony. She's also very capable with combat, but intelligent as well, if I remember correctly.

Baby's born. The name is randomly picked as....Vasilisa! Yay! Y'all expected that.

But then! Like, two or three days after Vasilisa was born, because we have 13 fucking people at this point despite still being p early game, we get attacked by mechanoids! There was so many! It was all hands on deck! The only two people who stayed behind was Vasilisa and her dad, because he would have just died immediately, let's be real.

We...technically won. All the bots were defeated and the colony survived.

But we went from 13 people to just 3 people.

Almost everyone died in that battle.

Including Vasilisa's mother.

Vasilisa and her dad are obviously two of the three who were still alive, so who else survived? The ex-prisoner. Vasilisa's dad was able to pull her from the battlefield ground and nurse her back to health.

The next year after that was rough, man.

And like, I admit, I'm pretty sure I did lower the difficulty after that. Having 13 people worth of stuff when you just have 3 people is tough in Rimworld—your wealth effects the difficulty. So I remember having to balance it out and switching it to be easier until we got back on our feet again.

But we lost so much! Our hunters, our cooks, our gardeners. They all died in the Mechanoid War. While the ex-prisoner was healing, Vasilisa's dad had to do everything. Doctoring, taking care of Vasilisa, foraging for food, cooking when he had time. He never had time to clean, so everything was a mess (and very bloody) and he defintely didn't have time to research.

And reminder—he's seventeen, maybe eighteen, a brand new dad, lost his wife—man was going through it.

Things got easier when the ex-prisoner healed up. She was able to do some of the hunting, so dad could focus on cooking and actually getting some cleaning done.

Additionally, I also had the Hospitality mod, so we got quite a few things from travelers who came and slept in our dead comrade's beds. We eventually made more money and bought and freed some slaves, and that really helped the most. We did get back on our feet and I was able to up the difficulty again.

But what about Vasilisa? What was she doing all this time?

Crying.

A lot.

Okay, so, really weird fact about me, I actually love the sound of a baby's cries. Not in a "I'm so glad that thing is suffering" way, but in a "That child is alive! They are alive and they are not afraid to take up space! They need something and you WILL know about it!" way.

Of course, I don't have kids of my own yet, so I'm sure that will change ww

But in this mod, it was the exact same crying sound all the time. Which, you know, it's a free mod. I don't expect them to load up fifty million different sounds of babies crying.

But woo boy, it was grating.

But I was keeping that child alive. I had yet to go from infant to toddler and I really wanted to do it this time around. Our colony was built within a cave, so I kept her within cave walls, away from raiders and wild animals, and every time she cried, I'd get her dad or sometimes the ex-prisoner and have them take care of her immediately. I was not losing this child.

Eventually, she did! She became a toddler! She was three years old! She could walk and do simple chores like clean! I cheered!

Then looked in absolute shock as I see the notification that her dad and the ex-prisoner were now in a relationship.

...Sure! Okay! Why not! Vasilisa probably sees her as a mom anyway! Major age gap, but some people find that hot, so why not! Have at it!

Things went great after this, though! Through a mod, Vasilisa's now step-mother was voted mayor (which was well deserved) and Vasilisa got to explore outside a bit.

Now, if I remember correctly, babies born in the mod didn't come with any traits, so I had to add them in myself. I had a lot of traits, especially from my many (many) mods, so I just got a random number generator and randomly picked them.

I remember picking three, but the only one I specifically remember her having was one: magically gifted.

I had a magic mod :D

There was one time when Vasilisa was out with her father, around 4 years old. They were gardening and the colony walls were in the middle of being reconstructed from wood to stone, so there were some open holes.

I get a notification. A bear is hunting Vasilisa.

Listen. I like to roleplay my Rimworld games. I don't try to do what's best for the colony so that everyone lives. I try to do what's best for the story, and what feels in character for the colonists.

So instead of having Vasilisa and her dad easily go inside and force the bear to eat something else,

I have Vasilisa reach out her hand and, for the first time ever, perform Magic Missile and kill the bear.

Her dad, who was terrified, looks to Vasilisa and realizes he found the best key to protecting her. They harness her power and, though she can only do simple things like teleporting, bringing items to her when they're in a different room, and Magic Missile, they end up being key to her keeping herself and her sister safe later.

Yes, her sister.

I got the notification that her step-mother (in her late 40s) is pregnant.

Things go great with this pregnancy, though! The baby is born safe and happy! I roll her traits and, again, don't remember much, but I do remember that she loved being outside, so she ends up gardening a lot as she got older.

I also remember what her name was randomized as.

Shaniqua.

I just...listen. I had to sit there and laugh for a second at two sisters with SUCH culturally different names. The Slavic Vasilisa and the Black American Shaniqua. THIS is how I know Vasilisa's step-mother is Black, because WOW.

After laughing though, unless it's really convenient RNG, I was actually impressed that the mod seem to take account the skin color of the pawns when picking names. Vasilisa for the white baby. Shaniqua for the dark-skinned mixed baby. Whether it's fate or really impressive programming, you just really have to sit back and appreciate how the cultures mixed not randomly, but in a way that makes sense.

At this point, with Vasilisa being 4-5 years old, I decided on a new goal. This was going to be the colony that reaches 10 years. That was my biggest Rimworld goal since I started playing the game, but I could never get past more than 3 years. But we were now on year 5 and still going strong, so I said, fuck it. This is the one. This is the decade long game that I've been striving for. I just knew it.

Things went well for a while! Vasilisa really got along with Shaniqua and loved having a sister! They were besties! We got more colonists, so many that we eventually had to found a second colony. This was on the sea, so there was a beach, and it had flat terrain instead of being in the mountains, so people didn't have to be inside all the time. This appealed for anyone going stir crazy in the mountains. The only outdoorsy pawn who couldn't go was Shaniqua, because she was a baby and had to stay with her family, and they weren't leaving their home.

Those people who left for the beach ended up having their lives saved in the coming years, though. If you know the caves in Rimworld, you know of one particular threat when it gets too warm: Infestations.

For the non-initiated, these are infestations of bugs. Not little beetles or spiders or anything. MASSIVE bugs that chip through the walls and kill everyone and take over their homes.

And we got one. And I was still baby brain to Rimworld and didn't realize you had to take care of it right away. I just blocked their section off and hoped we could live together peacefully.

Nope!

They chipped chipped chipped until they broke through and all hell broke loose.

This was another all hands on deck situation. The biggest event we've had since the Mechanoid War. Everybody grabbed guns and started shooting, but there were SO MANY. I really let it get too big :(

I don't remember how, but a fire also started, so we had to deal with suffocation in the cave, too. Great! (<- this is sarcasm)

Needless to say, most people died. There were only two survivors. Vasilisa and Shaniqua. They were able to get to the transport pods and get shipped over to the Beach colony. Their parents died in the Bug War and they were now both orphans.

Now, Imma be real with y'all here...I might have cheated. I genuinely don't remember, but knowing me and knowing a prefer a good story to a good game, it is more than likely I pulled out the developer tools and healed them over and over until they were able to get to the transport pods. This happens often when I have designated "main characters" of the game.

But like, come on! Vasilisa and Shaniqua being the only survivors, becoming closer in their sisterhood, mourning their late mother and father?? It was too good to pass up.

Plus, I think I would deserve a pat on the back for not saving their parents as well. I was really sad to lose them. I focused on Vasilisa in this story, but they really did a lot.

They will be remembered.

Except not really, because I forgot their names.

Anyway, I do remember that I had Vasilisa teleporting a lot during the Bug War to get to safety, so she honestly probably would have been fine! It was Shaniqua, who was still crawling, that I probably would have cheated for.

Hey...reparations 😎

Anyway, once they get to Beach, it was very cold, because of course it's winter, and Shaniqua did not have on proper clothes. And Beach didn't have any baby clothes ready yet, so she had to stay indoors with a heater and couldn't go out for even a second. This made feeding her difficult, because she was too old to be bottle-fed, but she couldn't go out to get food.

And, listen. I realize now that I should have just made a one square stockpile with just cooked food and made the priority most important in the room she was staying in so that she could always have easy access. It could have been so simple. I did not do this.

Instead, I constantly checked when Shaniqua was hungry and had Vasilisa go in her room and use her magic to teleport meals into the room.

In hindsight, it was really dumb and a time waster.

In roleplay sight, however, this helped me imagine them getting even closer as sisters.

Like, come on! Vasilisa losing both parents and then having to be the main caregiver of her baby sister, while she's only, like, 7 years old. Vasilisa feeding her sister and vowing to protect her from everything so that she doesn't lose her like she lost everyone else in her family? Come onnnnnnn, it's so good!!!

(I'm gonna write a story with them one day, I swear it, I swear it)

Anyway, about a year passes. Vasilisa is aboutish 8 years old now and I'm getting antsy that I might actually hit 10 years (yes, with cheating, but the cheating is only for either roleplay or balance reasons, not for goal hitting reasons; I would not count that). The bugs have taken over Mountain colony and are basically livin' it up. I leave the colony open, though, because you never know. Someone powerful might come and take them all out for me, and then Vasilisa and Shaniqua can go home.

And someone does come! Two someones!

...They are two seven year olds.

And they have guns.

I just...I had to stare a minute. Why are they seven. Why do they have guns. Where are their parents. I had so many questions.

But I also had an opportunity.

I drafted the seven year olds and I went tactical RPG on those bugs' ass.

Now, again, I don't remember if I cheated here, but I don't think I would have. These are new seven year olds that—pardon how cruel this sounds—mean nothing to me. I had a perfectly fine Beach colony running and if these kids die, they really wouldn't change anything. So I don't think I would have felt justified to bring out the Developer's Tools.

So they died, right? Well...

No.

They won. They killed all the bugs. Every. Single. One.

Seven year olds.

With guns.

Maybe I got crazy good with combat, but I think it is far more likely that with the bugs having so much space to spread out, they weren't as concentrated when they first broke through and we were able to pick them off.

Now...I need you to roleplay this with me for a second. I need you to imagine. We have telecoms. Of course we do. We have two colonies and need to be able to communicate with each other (this is from a roleplay stand point; you cannot actually communicate with your other colonies with telecoms as far as I know).

So just imagine, whoever is running telecoms on Beach that day, listening for any signals, thinking they would never hear anything from Mountain again, just to hear something go off. They answer like:

"Hello?"

"*giggling* We kiwwed awl the bawgs!! :D"

(they're seven, they're probably missing some teeth somewhere wwwwww)

Now, obviously, we had to make a party to go back to Mountain and rebuild the colony. Those seven year olds were kick ass and would be regarded as heroes, but they couldn't do everything.

I don't remember who was in that party. I basically don't remember anybody who wasn't Vasilisa and Shaniqua.

But Vasilisa was included, because she was going home and she was going to help build it up to be the colony her parents had made.

And Shaniqua was going with her, because she was, like, three, and we don't believe in separating siblings here.

Plus, we needed a gardener and Shaniqua, despite being three, was our best gardener.

(or maybe she was 4? I don't think you could garden at 3, but I do remember her gardening, so I honestly dunno)

So they went home! And things went great! My Call of Cthulhu mod had Shaniqua lose an arm and replace it with a tentacle (horrifying for a 3-4 year old), but other than that, things were relatively peaceful!

And it continued like that for a YEAR. Vasilisa was 9 now, which officially meant we ran the colony for over 10 years. We had DID IT. I completed my Rimworld dream goal! Could I go further? Could I hit 20? Could Vasilisa make it to being an adul—

And then the game got hit with FPS death.

Very anticlimatic ending, but I was SO UPSET when I loaded up the game and nothing moved. I was just like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO".

My favorite two colonists of ALL TIME, even NOW after having almost ten actual years of Rimworld under my belt, are gone forever. I could never play them again :(

But I got attached to them, okay?? I got attached to both of their names and keep them in my pocket constantly. I promised myself I would write their story one day (not like this, like, an actual novelization). I love them both to bits and pieces. They are the sisters ever.

But Vasilisa...she's also just symbolism for my two greatest Rimworld achievements: raising an infant to a child and hitting 10 in game years. She's just so so so important to me and anytime I see her name anywhere else, I'm just like 👀

So when I got introduced to Fear and Hunger years later and became attached to Pavel Yudin and Karin Sauer and started shipping them and then decided I wasn't afraid of being cringe anymore and give them fanchildren...

I couldn't not name their daughter Vasilisa. Not only was it fitting to Pav's culture (though the name was Karin's idea), but the ship that is so so so dear to me, someone who doesn't usually ship quite this hard, deserves to have children with names that also mean a lot to me.

I love the name Vasilisa. I will probably have multiple characters named Vasilisa. And when I see another character that also has that name, that character is already tilted to be a favorite of mine

12/14/2025: It is sooooooo cold!!! Usually, where I am, our Decembers have been pretty green, but I guess this year, my state decided to go back to the good ol' days before global warming and give us MULTIPLE snow storms. Makes taking the dogs out such a hassle; and my skin has been SO dry!

Besides that, though, things have been good! I recently finished up my semester and have had my first proper break (longer than two weeks) since January! I should have only two semesters left, though the last one is gonna be soooo busy, because I have to do two classes and a portfolio. The portfolio is only one credit though, so maybe it won't be that bad!

So far, I've been spending my break mostly reading and studying Latin. I switched my desk out from the makeshift white one (it was actually an outdoor table) to a proper black desk! I'm SO much happier with it! One day, I'll switch out all this white furniture that I basically got from my sister to black and dark brown and I will truly know happiness ww Besides that, I've been preparing for an event I'm setting up: Karin Sauer Week! I love Karin a lot, but I haven't had much time to do serious drawing during school, so I wanna try to get them done while I'm on break and schedule them when the event is actually going, which is the second week of February! My headcanoned birthday for her is February 14, so I thought it would be a fitting week to have it~ I also need to work on the Everyone Lives AU. I hadn't been able to update it much since summer! There's just so much drawing to do ahaha

I also made paper snowflakes! It took a while to make proper ones that weren't accidentally cut in half, haha. But I figured it out eventually!



And finally, the Winnie update! She's been good. She did get another UTI this year. We think her heats are probably causing it. I've been saving up to get her fixed finally, but every time I got the money to afford it at our vet, she'd get another UTI and I'd have to use it for that...Luckily, our vet guided us to a cheaper option, so we're going to go to them! She's set to be spayed later this month. I'm worried leaving her...she's not the best with strangers. But the clinic we're going to regularly handles strays, so I'm sure they'll be great with her! I'll have to make sure she has her favorite treats ready during the healing process to comfort her~

2/17/2025: Long time no see! I've abandoned this for quite some time, but I'm back to poking at it randomly. Some very general updates on what I've been up to in the past year:

• I started grad school! I'm getting my Master's in Library and Information Science (focusing on archiving especially). Considering the amount of mis- and disinformation going around, I think this is going to be very important in the coming years.
• I got into a game called Fear and Hunger, particularly the Termina one. I've been OBSESSED with it for almost a year now. It's practically all I draw, haha. I'm not complaining, though! The amount of art I've done, I've improved so much. The advice that to get better at art, you need to get really, really, really into a thing/guy is absolutely true. My guys are Pavel Yudin and Karin Sauer, by the way.
• I've started doing animatics and animations! Yes, most of them are Fear and Hunger related, hahaha. Again, though, I'm not complaining, because the obsession has totally improved my animations as well! It's gotten to the point where I crave animating as much as I crave drawing--which is amazing, because while I always wanted to animate, I always got so frustrated with it that I would rarely do it. Now I do it regularly! Sometimes with full colors and effects! Wow!
• And, for a Winnie update, she has been mostly well. She did get UTIs galore over the last year and trying to figure out why they kept coming back was taxing in so many ways. But she's perfectly healthy and a-okay now!

I think that's mostly it for now! I'm not gonna promise that I'll try to keep up with this more, because as soon as I do, that will end up being a lie jfkajekfjkla

But it is nice to take a break from social media--it's so emotionally taxing, I'd like to break away from it completely one day. I personally still think the social media era might be coming to a close over the next few years, but what do I know! We'll see.

12/4/2023: I started my new job recently! It's fun and I like it a lot, but it's most DEFINITELY tiring. I usually come home and go right to bed w

I've also been playing a ton of Sims. I really need to start just recording my games somehow (whether in video format or in writing) because I get so invested and I don't wanna forget my sims stories into the void :(

As for reading, I've picked up Petals on the Wind by V.C. Andrews again. It's sooooooo sad, so I have to take a lotta breaks from it, just for my own mental health. Cathy's rage fueled revenge kinda slaps though.

Winnie update: Unfortunely, she's been using me being busy with work as a chance to get into the trash and she did end up eating chicken bones :( She did get sick for a bit, but she's fine now! Gonna hafta keep the trash better secured when I'm away >:/

11/14/2023: I'm feeling really sick today, but my adhd and hyperfixation is stronger, so here I am!! I'm having way more fun with this than I thought I would.

I started reading Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. I'm not sure if I'll continue with it—it's a good book, but the writing style isn't really my cup of tea. I wanna try to get through a hundred pages first before I totally decide to DNF it though. I'm in that weird reading slump right now where I really want to read, but I'm not sure what, so I just constantly start and abandon books, then feel guilty about it ToT

Winnie update: there's a stinkbug (I named him Scooby) that's been flying around the past few days and she's terrified of it. I don't usually let her sleep with me in bed at night (twin bed, not a lotta space), but I had to make the exception the last few nights because she'll just be crying and want to be right up against me.